Firstly, please don’t take any part of this blog and interpret it that I don’t love spending every single minute of my life with my beautiful little boy.
Because trust me… I couldn’t think of anything better to do, well thats not exactly true… I’d be thrilled with the prospect of spending my days in a bikini on the beach with a vodka in hand, but lets not be ridiculous. *Agghhh – add in a wishful thinking sigh.
Man, my child is the most magical thing in the entire world. I shit you not, I honestly think that. Everything he does is beautiful. Even those super powerful stinky poos or when he totally destroys something very precious of mine. The house looks like I planted a small bomb strategically underneath a pile of his toys and detonated it with the greatest precision, to allow thousands of toys to fall and scatter perfectly all around every corner of the lounge room. Isn’t the experience of motherhood so artistic!
I do truly love every single inch of this little mini me. The one who can some nights take a good hour or so to get to sleep. I lie there with him, still breastfeeding. He’s two and a half. I love breastfeeding. I would stop but I want him to wean himself more so than me cut him off and break his little heart. I’m also not worried about what anyone else says. I do what I feel is right for us. Honestly I thought my milk would have dried up by now. My husband has dubbed me the “Milkenator!” Hahaha. Cheers big ears. Anyway, I actually pray he isn’t feeding for too much longer cause I’d like to be able to get my tits back. Bahahaha… Oh don’t worry, I don’t mean back as in they are going to spring back into two things that actually resemble breasts. I know, they are gone… they are flats now. I should be able to successfully roll them up and tuck them into a B cup I would say!
No, I mean get them back… as in, be able to lie down next to my little person and not have to have them out and about in the cool fresh air. I’m not a prude but I am kinda over having them out all the time. Especially at night… fuck me in winter its chilly with your chest all exposed. Not that my little milk monster gives two fucks. He just uses them as his little comfort bags… sorry I shall rephrase, deflated flats. Oh and I would love to be able to dress in clothes that don’t need easy access for a feed. My wardrobe over the last two and a half years is done, I’m well over it!
So yes, once this little dude actually does fall asleep, you’d think he would sleep well and through the night. I mean, I did mention he is 2 and a half. Well… nope. He doesn’t agree with that. He likes to wake up through the night and make sure I am still there. He likes to have some chats every now and then. Cuddles. Pats my hair. Tries to pick my nose with his tiny little fingers. Oh and those HEADBUTTS. They are great. When you are trying to sleep and he sits up, places himself just in alignment with my chin, mouth or head and then as if losing all muscle function he goes limp and flops face first into my head. He could seriously knock me out. I have checked to see if I was bleeding many times. I’ve looked to see if I had any missing teeth. He doesn’t even flinch. His head is like a fucking bowling ball. It feels nothing and I feel like I have been hit by a brick.
Then every morning when he wakes up… he hates life.
Waking is not his forte. He is not a morning person. Tears will usually start his day. Its like something in his little body has woken him prematurely. Which it has. Who the fuck wants to wake up at 5am??? That is his normal waking time. Then we dance around snoozing on and off until about 7am. I dream of the night I get to sleep through. I miss it so much but I am not holding my breath. I don’t like disappointment so I won’t set myself up for the fall. One day it will happen!!!
Living the “Mum Life” is so amazing. It really is. There is no sarcasm in that at all. Truly! But you do have to laugh about the things that sometimes make you want to cry. I chuckle to myself when I think of how many times I said “I won’t do this and that” while I was pregnant. The reality is that you will do whatever it takes to make life doable. I honestly have the TV on nearly all fucking day! Shoot me. Its what works for me. I work from home like many other mums I know and the TV is a necessity. Trust me, you get over it and your get over the guilt! I let my boy eat Arnotts Biscuits. I give him juice (watered down so it makes it 50% less sugary- yew winning!). I mentioned, I still breast feed, and I will do so while I have a vodka in my hand if I want to. I swear in front of my boy. I do things that wouldn’t be tolerated by some. We all do. we are all different. We parent in different ways.
Being a mum is tough. Being a dad is tough. Parenting is a hard gig, but also the most rewarding.
I wish I was napping on the couch instead of writing this blog to be honest, but I can’t because I have my little fella next to me watching Toy Story 3 and if I could sneakily go to sleep he would wake me within seconds, probably by putting some kind of plastic toy in my ear or trying to insert it into my retina. But I don’t really want go to sleep and leave him awake and alone in the lounge room. So I’m tired. But I am with him. So I am doing my thing and he is getting more screen time (what a bad parent), but we are together. His leg is on my leg as I type this, as he always likes to be touching me. He just finished a feed as I was starting this paragraph. We are connected and we love the time we have.
So we are all in the same boat. It matters little of how many kids you have, where you work, where you live, what your financial situation is. It is a given that we, as parents are doing the best we can! We can’t get shit done like we used to… there are simply not enough hours in the day. But we all have to work our lives to serve us and our family.
Its easy to get wrapped up in what is wrong and what is right. Well… in my opinion, parenting is done right as long as you are together. Talk to your child like they matter. They are your best friend. Who cares if you aren’t reciting the alphabet or teaching them how to count backwards from 100. If you aren’t frolicking in the ocean and making sandcastles on the beach. If you aren’t going for bush walks and horsehides. If instead you are snuggled on the couch watching Toy Story for the twelfth millionth time together, thats totally okay. Its totally okay, even though the sun is shining outside… its O FUCKING K. You are in a little cocoon of family love. Fuck what others think is right. If its right for you, your kids are happy, clean and fed. You are doing everything PERFECTLY!!!
Now I am off to get one those Arnotts Biscuits I mentioned before! But when don’t worry, when I buy some organic cookies… I will be sure to take a stunning pic and post it on Instagram!
Love to all my other mummy friends! xxx